finished play

Gangsters

Characters: ACE, EGGNUTS, Z.B DOOGLE, POLICE OFFICER, WAITER

[Three gangsters are sitting in a diner eating dinner after just robbing a car company of their money]

ACE

[Counting the money]

We did well in there.

EGGNUTS

[While eating]

Yeah, we did except for you newbie.

Z.B DOOGLE

[Setting the fork down forcefully]

I did fine, what are you talking about?

EGGNUTS

[Talking with his mouth full]

You were too chicken to shoot the guards instead you just threw rocks at them. Stupid

Z.B DOOGLE

No, I was not scared I just thought that it would be better to knock them out.

EGGNUTS

Yeah, right.

ACE

[Picking up his fork and holding it in his hand]

Would you two just shut up all you guys do is fight.

EGGNUTS

[Talking with his mouth even fuller]

We don’t fight that much.

ACE

[Still with the fork in his hand, in a sarcastic voice]

Sure.

Z.B DOOGLE

Seriously, I don’t fight with him. He picks fights with me.

EGGNUTS

Pass the ketchup Ace.

[Ace hands him the ketchup]

ACE

Why aren’t you eating Z.B?

Z.B DOOGLE

[Looking around]

I can’t find my fork.

EGGNUTS

[Swallowing his food with a loud gulping noise]

Maybe, that’s because you threw it across the table dorkus.

ACE

Shut up Eggnuts and help him find his fork.

Z.B DOOGLE

I’ll just go grab a new one.

[Gets up and gets a new fork from the next table then sits back down]

EGGNUTS

[Picking up a fork off the ground]

I found it

Z.B DOOGLE

Well I already got a new one so I don’t need it.

EGGNUTS

Well what am I supposed to do with this one then?

Z.B DOOGLE

I don’t care

[EGGNUTS tosses the fork at ACE’s face]

ACE

[Stands up with a mad look on his face]

What the deuce EGGNUTS. I will throw you off this team.

EGGNUTS

Sorry he said to get rid of it.

ACE

[Still standing]

So you hit me in the face.

EGGNUTS

Again sorry.

ACE

[Sitting back down]

You better be.

EGGNUTS

Anyway if someone should be kicked off the team it should be Z.B, I mean he didn’t even kill those guards.

Z.B DOOGLE

What I did my best.

EGGNUTS

Sure you did.

[A cop walks into the diner and sits at the table behind them]

ACE

He’s right you know.

Z.B DOOGLE

So you are just going to kick me off this team.

EGGNUTS

Yeah.

ACE

No I will give you a chance to stay.

Z.B DOOGLE

How.

ACE

To get your rep up and stay on the team you have to kill that cop behind us.

Z.B DOOGLE

What now.

ACE

Yeah.

Z.B DOOGLE

And what am I supposed to kill him with.

EGGNUTS

[Pulling a switchblade out of his pocket]

Use this.

Z.B DOOGLE

So I am supposed to just walk up to him and stab him with this.

ACE

Yeah.

EGGNUTS

And stab him in the head.

ACE

No just stab him in the heart. So he dies in one stab.

Z.B DOOGLE

[Swallowing a gulp of spit and twiddling the switchblade in his hand]

Umm.

ACE

Do it or you off the team.

EGGNUTS

Yeah do it

ACE

[Waving the waiter over]

Waiter bill please.

[EGGNUTS gets up and walks out of the diner]

ACE

[Stands up]

We will be waiting outside in the car for you.

[ACE gets up and walks out of the diner, smiling at the officer as he does]

POLICE OFFICER

Why did he smile at me?

Z.B DOOGLE

Because off this.

[Z.B DOOGLE runs at he officer and raises his arm and thrusts the knife into the officer then runs toward the door where the waiter trips him and ties him up.]

WAITER

Call the police he just killed a cop.